After spending the last several years moving SEVERAL times IN a year…I have settled. It may not be paradise but it’s home. I have not bought a decorative item in YEARS. Mostly because I have lost my umph to give two shits about the places I’ve lived. With old boyfriend, it was all about him being an ARTIST and NONE of my things ‘went with the flow’ of HIS THINGS. I was invisible there…so there’s 2 years. Living w parents=also NOT MY HOUSE. Desperately living in other shitty apartments with shitty men = depression. So my life has changed 100%. It is wonderful.
The joy of purchasing NEW ITEMS NOT PREVIOUSLY USED OR FOUND IN AN ALLEY is an amazing thing.
We have painted, decorated organized and ‘flipped’ this little basement apartment into something we love. I planted a garden which we are eating from, my daughter is home and the three of us have worked side by side to make our environment a ‘home’.
And P.S. – Do It Yourself projects with girls=ROCK…we paint over bugs, rust, holes
I have done a reading for a play that I was asked to do! I was asked to be in Night of the Living Dead this October, and a theater I performed in last year, needed someone to jump in as an actress quit! I learned parts for Macbeth, Titus and King Lear in two days!! I wanted to barf on the first night, but we are in our second weekend and have one more to go. Karma has been good to me. I get to do Shakespeare!! So it pays off to challenge yourself and go into your non comfort zone. I know nothing about Shakespeare, and have been in two Shakespeare productions because I said yes because I wanted to learn. Its been scary and I love it!!
I literally sat in the car with my friend before my first show and the director called to see if I was coming and I said I’d been in the car for a half hour trying not to barf and the director said “Well come in! Let’s go” and I did.
The show is called ‘Shakespeare to the Death‘ and it is several vignettes of the several death scenes. We get to have fun with them and I get to spit out food as Tamera in Titus in our campy depiction of the final scene. It’s so fun!
Life is good and making the decision to dig in my heels and NOT MOVE has changed my life. It opened up the universe. It got me to quit living in a constant ‘need’ mode. I even asked my ex husband if he’d rent his house to me even though it made my stomach hurt and made me cry and feel sick at the thought. I thought my friend here was challenging the landlord and being evicted. (long story about a plumbing issue) I felt I was in the same spiral I have been in for the last 20 years. Then my friend, who moved here from Texas, and I decided WE DON’T WANT TO MOVE. So we changed our world and made that NOT an option. As soon as we put the energy into STAYING, everything changed. Issues resolved themselves, we painted and bought a tv and cute rugs and shit at IKEA and just kept going forward with this energy on the trajectory that we are NOT MOVING. We won. I deserve to settle, I deserve to care about my environment and where I live and where I love and where I care to be and spend my days. This year has rocked my world. We are re-doing every room…I’ll post more pics!!
I’m telling you I haven’t bought pots and pans, vases, silverware…all the basic needs…in YEARS! I feel like I just started my life.